Baked Goods
by Lady Sable
Summary: Roy and Ed are baking Riza a birthday cake, but Roy doesn't exactly concentrate on the cake... Very slight RoyEd.


**Baked Goods**

_AN: Silly little Roy/Ed fic. Don't ask where the inspiration came from…I'm just full of crack. _

_I do not own **Fullmetal Alchemist**. If I did…Roy and Ed would be doing more than baking a cake…_

_I'll leave the rest up to your imagination, though._

* * *

**XXX**

"So what else does the recipe call for?" Roy asked, stirring the almost overflowing mixing bowl of various ingredients.

"Well, it needs two eggs and some vanilla." Edward answered after looking at the worn scrap of paper. He dragged a stool over to one of the higher cupboards and pulled out a few more ingredients he'd read off the recipe. Ed caught Roy's gaze as he climbed down from the stool arms full, and seethed at the amused look he saw.

"Don't you dare say a word, Colonel! You're the one who asked for help, so if you make even one comment about my height I swear I'll—"

"Calm down, Fullmetal. I won't say a thing. Now would you bring over the container of sugar?"

Edward narrowed his eyes at the Colonel, but did as he asked, bringing over the ceramic container filled with sugar.

"I don't get why you asked me to help you, anyway. I know it's Hawkeye's birthday…but couldn't you have asked Gracia or Schieska for help? I'm sure they'd be better at baking than I am."

"Quit complaining Fullmetal. We'll never get this cake finished at this rate."

"You're the one talking so much…" Ed muttered, measuring out a cup of sugar and handing it to Roy.

"Thank you. Flour, please."

Ed glared at Mustang, murmuring something about being a military lapdog, but still grabbed the container of flour and handed it to Roy.

"So how old is the First Lieutenant going to be?" Ed asked out of curiosity.

Roy gave him a reprimanding look. "Don't you know you're not supposed to ask a lady's age? It's disrespectful."

Ed crossed his arms and huffed. "Well excuse me."

Roy set down the bowl of dough after he was finished mixing, and looked over at Edward, who had a sour look staining his features.

"Aw, don't be that way. I do appreciate your help, Fullmetal."

Ed looked up at Roy, surprised by the man's confession.

"What--?" But before Edward could voice his surprise, Roy was in front of him and Ed was caught against the counter and Roy's hips, his superior's arms on either side of him.

"And I'd like to _express_ my appreciation, Edward." Roy drawled out, his voice low and husky. Ed blushed uncontrollably as he felt his Colonel's hands on him and his soft, velvety lips on his jaw.

"M-Mustang?" Edward breathed out, his cheeks impossibly red from embarrassment.

"Hmm?" Roy muttered, pulling back, his dark eyes seductive and hazy.

Ed lost himself for a moment in those eyes, then shook his head and stared at the Colonel, his eyes narrowing and his bottom lip pouting out.

"You pervert!" Ed proclaimed, then proceeded to smack Roy upside the head push out of the circle of his arms, stalking away from his confused Colonel. "And to think I actually came to help you!"

Roy watched the young Alchemist leave the room with a smile, raising his hand up to rub his red, throbbing cheek and subconsciously thanking Edward for only smacking him with his left hand.

"Oy, almost party time. I should finish that cake." Roy turned back to the batter and poured it in a pan, mentally thanking Winry for letting him borrow her new 'oven', the tiff between him and Edward momentarily forgotten.

XXX

After storming out of Roy's kitchen, Ed had gone immediately to his apartment, stopping only to grab his present for Riza. He then left to go to the office where the small party was being held.

During the party, Ed couldn't help but notice the poorly hidden snickers and giggles his fellow state Alchemists directed at him whenever they thought his back was turned.

Edward dealt with the embarrassment of it for a few minutes, passing it off as an inside joke he wasn't informed of.

Throughout the party, Edward tactfully avoided Mustang, making his way around the office and attempting to talk with everyone he knew, despite the fact everyone was obviously laughing at him. Eventually Edward grew tired of the secret joke very quickly.

After saying a final 'Happy Birthday' to Riza, he turned to leave, only to feel his brother's hand on his shoulder.

"Edward…" Al began, tugging on Ed's shirt. "Can we talk, Brother?"

Ed turned to Al, reassured that his brother would tell him whatever it was everyone had been laughing about.

"Sure Al, go ahead."

"Er, can we talk in private, Brother?"

Confused, Ed nodded and followed Al out into the hallway.

"What is it Al? You need to tell me something?"

"Uhmm…well…Brother, you have…"

Edward raised an eyebrow, coaxing his brother to continue.

"Yeah, Al? What is it?"

Al shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Well, Brother you should…look in a mirror."

Narrowing his eyes in confusion, Edward went to the bathroom, where the closest mirror was located.

"What Al? I don't see anything." Edward said, leaning in to the mirror and examining his face closely.

Al pointed over to the full-length mirror. "Uhmm, look behind you, Brother."

Edward slowly turned and craned his neck, only to see the two perfectly preserved flour handprints laid on either side of his rear.

Edward twitched and as Al put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him, Edward screeched out:

"Mustang! Just wait until I get my hands on you!"

Al pulled back his hand, confused. "But Brother, didn't he already get his hands on you?"

Ed simply twitched and muttered:

"See if I ever help you again, Colonel."

**XXX**

* * *

_AN: Well…who didn't see THAT coming? (Shrugs) That was my sorry attempt at humour. _

_It made Reana laugh, so I guess that's something. And of course I giggled when I pictured Ed standing in the bathroom cursing Roy because of his roaming hands…_

_Nice mental image though!_


End file.
